Escape Simulator (Review)

Source: Cashmoneys
Price: £11.99 (£3.19 soundtrack)
Where To Get It: Steam

You know, frustration is a powerful motivator for buying games sometimes. You see someone else play it, grit your teeth at the things they’re missing, or the obvious solution they’re not getting…

And then you play it yourself, and have a good meal of crow as you realise at least some of it isn’t anywhere near as easy as you thought it would be.

Argh. Crap. I see a lot of text here… But it’s CLUES, dammit!

This, in summary, was my early experience with Escape Simulator, a first person escape room game. And, honestly, that speaks in its favour, that what at first seems easy isn’t when you actually get down to it.

For those who haven’t experienced an escape room before, it’s usually a single room (multiple room escape rooms exist, but they’re less common) in which you solve puzzles to obtain the parts you need to achieve your objective. It isn’t always escape, but it most often is. Solve the riddle, and get a key to unlock a drawer, which contains a puzzle element for a major riddle, solve a few more, thus solving the major element, solve a few major elements to obtain the final key, that sort of thing. It’s pretty fun, and can be done solo or with friends.

Likewise, Escape Room can be played multiplayer, and it’s about as chaotic as you’d expect, since, after all, some puzzles require multiple elements, people accidentally drop things or forget they’ve got things… But definitely fun. It’s got some good UX elements too, like an indicator as to whether something’s a key item. Kind of important, since there’s a lot of trash, and you might accidentally throw something into the sole trash bin of each room, y’know?

Do love me a haunted occultist’s mansion, so I do. Gimme lots of money, I want one for myself!

In any case, the base game has 4 areas (plus a tutorial level and shorter, christmas themed one), each with a theme, and several rooms to complete. They don’t have to be completed in order, but they do tell a story of sorts, be it climbing a pyramid, or infiltrating EvilCorp Incorporated, so I would say do them in order. Each has some sort of unique element to it, with my personal favourite being the computer based puzzles of the infiltration (oh, BASIC, how I’ve missed you!), and my least favourite being the server puzzle in the SF themed area. Lovely. A puzzle in which I’m having to keep track of several flashes from three bloody sides. God fucking dammit.

But overall, it looks nice, the UX is clear, the puzzle hints are clear, the audio, such as it is, is nice, and the soft avatars add this element of friendliness that helps release tension some in multiplayer (and gives you a little extra dose of the warm fuzzies when you’re done with a room.) It ain’t bad at all.

Ahahahaha, oh, this brings back memories. I even used to have a tape drive like the one on the left!

I will say, however, that without some level of procgen on the puzzles, a small amount of randomisation, that you’re not going to get that many replays out of the main levels. That’s what the community levels are for.

Overall, I do like Escape Simulator. But, like pretty much any Escape Room game, I wish there was more to it, or, more accurately, that I could get my brain together enough to use the editor effectively. And, y’know, you always wish for a customised part, am I right?

The Mad Welshman has escaped his room several times. It’s a surprisingly complicated procedure.

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Gnosia (Review)

Source: Cashmoneys
Price: £19.49
Where To Get It: Steam

Oh hell… I got played by Comet… Comet, the worst liar on the ship outside of Shigemichi… She’d collaborated with me early on, and then… She voted me out in the final round. She wasn’t even a Gnosia, the other one was…

But here’s the thing… It was loop 40. And the characters get stat boosts and new abilities over time, just like you do. And, in the end, while I was a good orator, people had gotten tired of my shit, because I talked too much.

I mean, you do… But I apologise for being played by a Gnosia and voting you out on their recommendation.

Here’s the takeaways, and they’re important for playing Gnosia overall: Be suspicious of even those you think are close friends… And consider your moves carefully, because, in this visual novel game of mafia, even the basics of accuse, cover, defend, and argue can backfire on you. And, throughout it all, you’re trying to understand what’s even going on. Why are you entering all these alternate timelines? What are the Gnosia, the mafia of this game who can erase one person from reality each night? What are the Bugs, the people who can destroy the universe with their paradoxical presence? And… Who the hell are you and these other people anyway?

Right, a brief note on Mafia or Werewolf for those who don’t know. There are the killers, who can kill each night. It goes day, night, day, night, and each day, the group argues as to who the killer is (in Gnosia, there is no choice but to vote, even on the first day, by the way.) The game then introduces other roles: The AC Follower, who doesn’t know who the Gnosia are, but sows confusion in their name. The Bug, who, if they survive, win the game (and destroy that universe.) The Engineer, who can check someone each night to see if they’re Gnosia. The Doctor, who can check who you voted out each night to see if they were Gnosia. The Guardian Angels, who can protect one person a night, but not themselves, and The Guards, a pair who, if they declare themselves, can permanently remove suspicion of them, because no-one else can claim their role, unlike the Doctor or Engineer.

Yes, this isn’t a main game screenshot. But I always find it nice to note when there’s an enby option. Y’know, what with being an enby and all…

There’s your summary. Now, onto the aesthetics and the writing. Aesthetically, it’s simultaneously lovely, with its hand painted characters, and off, because there’s always something a little weird about the characters, exaggerated when they’re Gnosia, and they’ve won, showing their true colours. It’s accessible and friendly, with a sans serif font, clear icons, no faffing about that obscures things… I like it.

The writing is less clear cut, because, outside of character specific events, the introduction of features, and the occasional snippet, there’s not a whole lot of it. Is that a point against it? Well… No. Because the characters are fleshed out, the snippets are interesting (particularly amusing is the one where either Jonas or Shigemichi, an overly verbose and poetic captain and a gullible guy who alienised himself, out themselves as Gnosia because they couldn’t possibly lose that videogame they’re passionate about!), and these are clues as to who to trust. They tell you a little about their behaviours, who they’ll pick on, who they’ll defend. Kukrushka, for example, will defend you with all her sweet, mute heart if you’re her friend, but if you’re her enemy? Oh boy, she’s going to hate you and go after you every chance she gets. They’re helpful, and honestly, the whole cast is likeable, even Raqio, the smug nonbinary fucko (yes, there are queer folks in this game, another plus) who values intelligence over everything.

Gina is, honestly, one of my favourite characters. Stay strong, sad, quiet girl… <3

And some characters definitely appear to know more than they’re letting on. Hi, Yuriko.

Overall, I like Gnosia. It’s simple, it’s replayable by design, and while certain characters are a bitch to get all their fragments from (you have to futz with the difficulty to get a chance of ideal circumstances), it’s a pleasure to get to know a little more about them… And the overarching mysteries of the game. My only bitch about the port is a pretty minor one, and that’s that the mouse controls seem a bit finicky. But only a bit, there’s keyboard and controller to play, and it’s turn based, so no big.

The Mad Welshman is sus no matter what happens, so hey, vote him out, doom yourselves by all means!

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Powerwash Simulator (Early Access Review)

Source: Cashmoneys
Price: £15.99
Where To Get It: Steam

Muckingham, a town where beautification committees are considered quaint, and where Health and Safety Inspectors dare not enter, for fear of their lives, has a new hero. The hero they need. The hero they may or may not deserve. The one who’s going to clean up this town!

Hitting tab allows you to gauge the herculean task in front of you. And whether you missed a spot.

Oh, I’m sorry, was the title not clear enough that all that heroic guff was hyperbole, and that it is, in fact, a relaxing game about washing things with a high pressure hose, a variety of nozzles, and whatever background music you choose to put on, for the game deliberately has none? Because yes, it’s a game about cleaning things, both big and small, with a high pressure hose, a variety of nozzles, and whatever background music you choose to put on.

It’s pretty clever, actually. Because it’s not only a game you can take at your own pace, nobody can actually say it isn’t a challenge. That one tiny nook you missed, that’s stopping you from that dopamine inducing ting of “This has been cleaned now!” That swearing as you realise that your quick sweep has just left dirt that you can’t see, outside of your super-power of briefly turning dirt bright yellow, but is nonetheless all over the sodding place. Oh, and let us not forget trying to find that one support or timber out of 21 (people who’ve already bought the game know exactly what I mean) that has only mostly been cleaned.

Considering the state of Muckingham, I’m assuming it went on the “Nearly Unused” listing on mBay.

It’s got it’s challenges, that’s for sure. But it’s well designed, in that it’ll give you a big one, maybe a couple of big ones… Then a smaller job. Then a few more big ones, maybe a medium one, smaller job, so on… It’s well paced, in its career mode, and the writing of the characters who hire you is humorous indeed. From the old park keeper who doesn’t understand why people are complaining about a little bit of muck (read: The whole fucking park), to the bakery folks who live in a rustic cottage, one Hansel and Gretel Hexenjager, who are definitely bakers and not anything else!

It’s pretty accessible, with a right click toggle of the water to save your poor finger if you wish (although alas, your wrist is likely to suffer if you play for long periods), clear UX, the bright yellow of the dirt sight clearly contrasting with a good 99% of the surfaces (so even though some grime may not be visible at first glance, it will always be when you Tab to check), colour coding for your nozzles…

And, aesthetically, it’s solid. Often bright, colourful locations, making a night and day transition from Ye Liveliest Awfulness to pristine, friendly locales, the sound of the pressure washer against various surfaces is relaxing, and fitting… It doesn’t have music, it’s true, but this is a deliberate decision so you can put your own on.

Your reward for a job well done is to see the work you’ve done… Being done. Ah, watching that dirt vanish in moments is… Slightly taunting the time you actually took doing it…

I like Powerwash Simulator already, a bunch, and I’m very unlikely to change this opinion. There’s a lot of rinsey, bubbly bang for your buck if you’re into nice, relaxing simulation games that aren’t really simulations, per se, but are good enough that you can imagine you’re having a nice, relaxing time drenching things at high pressure and watching the muck and grime and rust melt away…

…Ahhh, bliss. Even for a mucky pup like myself!

Oh, and the Multiplayer Beta dropped, so soon, you’ll be able to powerwash with your friends, too, wheeee!

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Foreclosed (Review)

Source: Review Copy
Price: £13.49
Where To Get It: Steam

Cyberpunk. Proper cyberpunk, not neo-futurism or cyber SF. Comic book aesthetic. Stealth, gunplay, hacking… You’d think this was right up my street.

But, in short, it’s not. I quite Foreclosed pretty early, and I’m not ashamed to say that. Because, on several levels, it just. Didn’t. Work for me. We’ll get into it after I explain what the game is.

Mmmm… A stealth section where I don’t have quite as much info as I’d like. Well, the important stuff is there, at least.

So, a third person (occasionally switching to first person, more on that in a bit) shooter with levelling, stealth kills, stealth, low health (at least to start), and “hit arrows in the right order” based hacking minigames. Oh, and the stealth kill is a QTE, button mashing 2. That’s your basics, right there. So… Let’s get into the few parts it got right, and then… The bits it got wrong.

In terms of general aesthetics, the music was good, tense stuff, chilling out during the quiet moments, the comic book aesthetic was indeed like some gritty inks I’ve seen in the past with colour, the voice acting (what I heard of it, anyway), was good, the comic booky bits looked good, and…

He’s a big feller.

That’s pretty much it. That’s… Pretty much it. Our protagonist takes up a lot of screen real estate, switches between walking and running… Well, seemingly in predetermined areas that nonetheless feel random, it switched to full screen mode whenever I came back to the main menu, keys don’t appear to be rebindable, default mouselook is fast, the first person camera has headbob you can’t turn off (and has a disorienting switch), the third person can sometimes be fucky, and there are segments where you’re forced into a different third person perspective than “behind the protagonist” (thankfully with absolute movement controls, so left is still left, right still right, and so on.)

And this was just what I saw in the first… checks… Half hour. I died precisely twice, once in the first stealth section (that one was most definitely my fault), and once in the first proper shooting segment (that… The protagonist is pretty squishy, the cover’s not great…)

Dead. And again. And again…

I’d have maybe switched to a lower difficulty (yes, there is a lower difficulty), but when I see this many problems this early on? Foreclosed was definitely not for me. I’m honestly glad I found this out early, even considering this is a review copy.

It’s a shame, really. There’s enough of interest here that if these problems were fixed, maybe it would be a fun, interesting romp, much like one of its main inspirations, XIII. But alas, it was not to be.

The Mad Welshman sighed as he looked at the television screen sky, and puffed on his neon vape. Time to get back to the grind…

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Scarlet Hollow Episodes 1 and 2 (Review)

Source: Review Copy
Price: £15.49 (It’s sort of a season pass deal, episode 1 is £4.79, episode 2 is £5.19)
Where to Get It: Steam

Content Warnings (taken from the official site) Realistic Gore; death; dead, dying and injured animals; children in peril; child death; claustrophobia; emetophobia/vomiting; disturbing imagery and situations

Mystery horror. It’s a difficult thing to write, honestly. You’ve got to get the right balance between a sense of normality and… Something being off, before that something decides to come knocking.

And said somethings can be… Ewwwwww…

And so, Scarlet Hollow begins in a very simple way, well known to horror fans: An estranged family member, going to the family’s run down, decrepit house in a run-down, slowly dying town for their aunt’s funeral.

And it doesn’t fuck around with the “something off”, either. The guy on the bus is loud on the way there, and subtly unstable. The cat (if you can talk to animals, more on that in a sec) is a proud French asshole. There’s a forbidden wing, a seriously tired and frumpy cousin, and yes, you are very much a stranger in a strange land.

And this is before things even kick off.

So, yes, Scarlet Hollow is a visual novel, episodic, and only episodes 1 and 2 are out right now. But buy it once, and when the rest of the episodes come out, bam, they’re yours! And it’s… A really cool experience, gently unsettling until it decides to go all out, lowering and spiking the tension well… And aesthetically, it’s very on point.

Even if you’re haunted by grief and gribbleys… Don’t let your bathroom get this stanky. Seriously.

Inks abound, crosshatching, all that good pen drawing shit I know and love, and solid colour choices, muted when it needs to be, loud when it needs to be. Musically, it’s good, accessibility wise, it’s good, and it’s got… A lot of choice. Just to start off with, pronouns (YESSSS) and two special traits. For my first go through, I picked talking to animals and book smarts, and… Wow, I spent a lot of the first ep sounding like a pompous grad student, while also being dissed by Frou-Frou for butchering their native language. Ehehehe. So… Yeah, that, combined with hidden meters, meant I got a fair bit of choice paralysis, not helped by…

…Curse you, Black Tabby Games… You know about scroll-wheeling in Ren’py, and you cockblocked me. Then I shall have to save a heckuva lot

Why, bless your butterbiscuits, Gretchen, you are the sweetest little Southern Pugge I’ve ever met!

Anyway, yes, queer horror, romance options, complicated relationships… If you like a visual novel with a lot going on, then Scarlet Hollow is really good. Oh, and obviously, if any of the content warnings are triggers for you, stay away, and if they aren’t, keep an eye on the CW page for further warnings that may or may not occur.

No, dating the pug to get adorable doggy “kisses” is not an option. Sorry, go for Purrfect Date or Hatoful Boyfriend for that, and apologies.

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